whewwwwwwwww .......

Recent events have made me realize that I had stopped
spending time for myself ......
I had to have a friend slap me upside the head
and say STOP IT!
She made me realize that I can not carry the burden
of the world on my shoulders ...........
If a friend is ill, I can not cure them .....
If a friend has a break down, I can not rebuild them,
If other people are stressed to the max,
my trying to take over their stress will only give me
stress and probably not relieve theirs at all .........
my children's relationship with their sperm donor
is their relationship and the sperm donor is the one
who needs to apologize so that they can hopefully
have some semblance of what they once had ......
I am and always will be, the Mom who loves them
and they know that ......
I have to stop worrying about the kids, they are 21 and 25 ...........
time for them to fly away and leave the nest ...........
I have to continue to purge the house, sell it and move on ..........
stop worrying about everyone else and look at
ME ......

funny, how deep down I know all of these things,

but because of who I am ...............

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
it is always, and has always been
everyone else first
me last ..........

time to adjust my focus,
pull up my socks
grit my teeth
and stop making excuses .............

here I gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!