tears on my pillow .............

Today is one of those days when I really am not feeling well,
I have bouts of nausea and yet know that I should eat ...
I had three nose bleeds yesterday
one the day before and one the day before that ...
my blood looks like it is all watered down now
loosing its bright shiny redness to a runny blah ...
and yet my veins in my body continue to be a bright vibrant blue ...

someone asked me ... 'are you worried'
I bluster up the courage and say I will be all right ..........
but then when I am alone
I have to ask myself
but will I?
and then the tears start to fall ...............