There are times when
I do wonder
what it is
that makes us so insatiable at times ....
the desire
to be touched and stroked
to feel the heat
swell from our groins
and rosy up our cheeks ....
I certainly hope
that it is not a seasonal thing
whereby todays -20*C
has anything to do with
wanting to hibernate with a lover
somewhere warm and cozy
surrounded by sensual thoughts
and all the comforts of home
I hope that it is really more
of a woman
finding her place
in a world of decadence
and lust
and discovering
herself ..............
in amazing technocolour at that .........
Thursday, April 17, 2008
the dance ......
So,
if one never takes the chance
and passes up on the dance
is that person better off
than the one who took the chance
stumbled and fell
and ended up sitting by the wall
watching the others dance away ....
or do they say
screw it
and just find new friends to dance with ....
but if one never tries the dance ....
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
and there is me
dancing naked in my own brilliance .....
inside of course
because it is too freaking cold outside for anything else ..........
if one never takes the chance
and passes up on the dance
is that person better off
than the one who took the chance
stumbled and fell
and ended up sitting by the wall
watching the others dance away ....
or do they say
screw it
and just find new friends to dance with ....
but if one never tries the dance ....
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
and there is me
dancing naked in my own brilliance .....
inside of course
because it is too freaking cold outside for anything else ..........
I was thinking ............
the sweetest caress
is one from a lover,
a whispered exchange
a lingering glance
trailing finger on textured skin ...
the moments of lust
just before the
moments of bliss ....
surrounded by the tremors of "O"
those are the moments
to savour ......
is one from a lover,
a whispered exchange
a lingering glance
trailing finger on textured skin ...
the moments of lust
just before the
moments of bliss ....
surrounded by the tremors of "O"
those are the moments
to savour ......
high expectations .....
I was just thinking .......
after I wrote my last post,
that it is sometimes the men who are most into the flash in the pan,
the trophy woman
with her perfect tits and limited brain,
that actually have the least to offer themselves ...
am not sure if there is any correlation at all ...
but, I was just thinking ......
after I wrote my last post,
that it is sometimes the men who are most into the flash in the pan,
the trophy woman
with her perfect tits and limited brain,
that actually have the least to offer themselves ...
am not sure if there is any correlation at all ...
but, I was just thinking ......
Have you ever woken up
and just felt
like you have spent the night
with a lover
your body caressed
loved
and oh yes, worshipped
by the hands
fingers
lips
tongue
of a lover ........
your body still throbbing
from the thrusting
and cuming
only to roll over and realize
that you are alone ....
that you were dreaming .....
sighhhhhhhhhhhh
at least it was in colour .....
and just felt
like you have spent the night
with a lover
your body caressed
loved
and oh yes, worshipped
by the hands
fingers
lips
tongue
of a lover ........
your body still throbbing
from the thrusting
and cuming
only to roll over and realize
that you are alone ....
that you were dreaming .....
sighhhhhhhhhhhh
at least it was in colour .....
Life is a precious gift
given to us
to do with what we will
as we travel through it
our paths criss cross with the paths of others
some with whom we have a joyful union
some not so much ....
there are those that we learn from
those that we teach
there are those that we love for ever
and those that are here with us only for the moment
there are places that we visit once
and yet there are others that we return to over and over ........
the snow is piling up outside
my driveway finally shovelled
and I am dreaming of spring
sunshine, flowers and warmth ....
I think the warmth and sunshine I have really missed lately .........
the winter is far too long
I am not ready for the winter of my life
but am instead insisting on the spring
the season of rebirth
thoughts of babies to come (NO, NOT MINE!)
and of those new parents
to feel and embrace that unconditional love
and for those new little faces
to see life with their own virgin eyes ....
and I realize yet again ...
life really is a precious gift.
given to us
to do with what we will
as we travel through it
our paths criss cross with the paths of others
some with whom we have a joyful union
some not so much ....
there are those that we learn from
those that we teach
there are those that we love for ever
and those that are here with us only for the moment
there are places that we visit once
and yet there are others that we return to over and over ........
the snow is piling up outside
my driveway finally shovelled
and I am dreaming of spring
sunshine, flowers and warmth ....
I think the warmth and sunshine I have really missed lately .........
the winter is far too long
I am not ready for the winter of my life
but am instead insisting on the spring
the season of rebirth
thoughts of babies to come (NO, NOT MINE!)
and of those new parents
to feel and embrace that unconditional love
and for those new little faces
to see life with their own virgin eyes ....
and I realize yet again ...
life really is a precious gift.
sometimes ...
I was just thinking about how some of us tend to keep things hidden deep inside,
on the outside we appear one way
but on the inside ......
on the inside we have so many layers ...
like an onion
we can peel those layers off one by one
and lay ourselves naked on the altar before all of mankind
but can we really shed allllll of the layers
or do we just don a different mask
and wear clothes of a different colour ...
back straining under the weight of all those griefs ...
all of those things that we try to hide
but you know my friends,
sometimes, it is good to let it all go ...........
to let all of those pains roll off of the shoulders,
to be able to shake it off .......
to stand upright,
lifting ones arms up
embracing the joy of being alive
celebrating one's brilliance
and so my friends ...
sometimes,
it is good
to just let it all go ....
on the outside we appear one way
but on the inside ......
on the inside we have so many layers ...
like an onion
we can peel those layers off one by one
and lay ourselves naked on the altar before all of mankind
but can we really shed allllll of the layers
or do we just don a different mask
and wear clothes of a different colour ...
back straining under the weight of all those griefs ...
all of those things that we try to hide
but you know my friends,
sometimes, it is good to let it all go ...........
to let all of those pains roll off of the shoulders,
to be able to shake it off .......
to stand upright,
lifting ones arms up
embracing the joy of being alive
celebrating one's brilliance
and so my friends ...
sometimes,
it is good
to just let it all go ....
a hug ...
I learned today,
that a hug
enables you to say
all of those things
that you are sometimes not able to put into words
it expresses joy
in seeing someone that you may not have seen for a long time
it can say thankyou
to someone who has gone above and beyond
it can say I understand
even when you maybe are not able to do so.
A hug
can give support to someone who needs it
it can give condolances
when there really are no words
A hug can say
hey, I think you are special
it can say
wow, I am so proud of you!
A hug can say I love you,
no matter what ...
A hug can say, I believe in you,
do me proud!
A hug can also say
Hello my friend, I have missed you so much ...
I am a big hugger,
I believe in touch ...
so when you get a hug from me
I mean it ...
from the tips of my toes,
to the freckles on my nose ...
hugs ..........
from me to you!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
that a hug
enables you to say
all of those things
that you are sometimes not able to put into words
it expresses joy
in seeing someone that you may not have seen for a long time
it can say thankyou
to someone who has gone above and beyond
it can say I understand
even when you maybe are not able to do so.
A hug
can give support to someone who needs it
it can give condolances
when there really are no words
A hug can say
hey, I think you are special
it can say
wow, I am so proud of you!
A hug can say I love you,
no matter what ...
A hug can say, I believe in you,
do me proud!
A hug can also say
Hello my friend, I have missed you so much ...
I am a big hugger,
I believe in touch ...
so when you get a hug from me
I mean it ...
from the tips of my toes,
to the freckles on my nose ...
hugs ..........
from me to you!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I saw three robins today,
all shivery and fluffy in the snow,
wondering I am sure
what they were thinking
flying north
on a snow cloud no doubt...
the tulips and daffodils
are starting to sprout
amidst the freshly fallen snow
the yellow crocus heads are peaking
stretching for the sun
vacation requests are starting to flow
talk of the beach .......
warm weather woes,
and driving home from downtown,
Debbie Harry sings out "Call me ..."
just before that the Boss
sang "Born to Run ..."
the heart beat quickens ...
the summer twitch begins ...
the desire to be raunchy and bold ...
the desire to be ...
I am a child of summer,
I love the ride
so you wanna .....
cum along with me,
summer,
warm weather heat
blue sky sunshine,
it's all cuming ...
is cuming baby ...
wooooooo hoooooooo
what a ride!
all shivery and fluffy in the snow,
wondering I am sure
what they were thinking
flying north
on a snow cloud no doubt...
the tulips and daffodils
are starting to sprout
amidst the freshly fallen snow
the yellow crocus heads are peaking
stretching for the sun
vacation requests are starting to flow
talk of the beach .......
warm weather woes,
and driving home from downtown,
Debbie Harry sings out "Call me ..."
just before that the Boss
sang "Born to Run ..."
the heart beat quickens ...
the summer twitch begins ...
the desire to be raunchy and bold ...
the desire to be ...
I am a child of summer,
I love the ride
so you wanna .....
cum along with me,
summer,
warm weather heat
blue sky sunshine,
it's all cuming ...
is cuming baby ...
wooooooo hoooooooo
what a ride!
Are you afraid ...
to say that I have never been afraid would be a lie,
to say that I have no fears now would also be a lie.
but I am a mom,
I fear that my children will be hurt
that they might not have enough money,
that their choice in education might not supply them with the knowledge that they need ...
but I also know that they have the tools of life available to them ...
that they will learn from their life experiences and grow from them
I am a woman
who has been sexually abused,
can I say that it happening again does not worry me?
no,
but I can say that now I am careful ...
I enter into relationships with open eyes now,
I tend to be a little bit more matter of fact, open and honest,
I am also a risk taker
I have always been the caretaker
and know that now it is time for me
my time
to shine, to live, to be one with myself ...
to be one with that lover
who is also a part of myself,
that part of me
that is/longs to be/ the part of a we ...
am I afraid ...
of new chapters ...
of things that go bump in the night ...
of letting go ...
of love ...
of new adventures ...
of discovering myself ...
so many things,
so many options ...
if I let my fears contain me
then
I would not really be true to myself ...
for they could easily consume me,
and that would not be a good thing ...
I prefer to address them
to no longer hide behind them
but to face them head on ...
who knows with the light of day
they all may just fizzle and fall away ...
am I afraid?
hmmmmmmmmmm
to say that I have never been afraid would be a lie,
to say that I have no fears now would also be a lie.
but I am a mom,
I fear that my children will be hurt
that they might not have enough money,
that their choice in education might not supply them with the knowledge that they need ...
but I also know that they have the tools of life available to them ...
that they will learn from their life experiences and grow from them
I am a woman
who has been sexually abused,
can I say that it happening again does not worry me?
no,
but I can say that now I am careful ...
I enter into relationships with open eyes now,
I tend to be a little bit more matter of fact, open and honest,
I am also a risk taker
I have always been the caretaker
and know that now it is time for me
my time
to shine, to live, to be one with myself ...
to be one with that lover
who is also a part of myself,
that part of me
that is/longs to be/ the part of a we ...
am I afraid ...
of new chapters ...
of things that go bump in the night ...
of letting go ...
of love ...
of new adventures ...
of discovering myself ...
so many things,
so many options ...
if I let my fears contain me
then
I would not really be true to myself ...
for they could easily consume me,
and that would not be a good thing ...
I prefer to address them
to no longer hide behind them
but to face them head on ...
who knows with the light of day
they all may just fizzle and fall away ...
am I afraid?
hmmmmmmmmmm
next time I am going for the brightly flowered stuff ...
I read a post last night about baggage,
I think that when you go through life,
what you experience before, shapes you to who you become ...
some of us go through life with no real turmoil or stress ...
and we have an okay life, nothing really dramatic, nothing really outstanding but an okay life ...
others of us, the baggage may start to accumulate shortly after birth,
Life is kind of like a crap shoot ...
I kind of think along the lines of
but there, for an act of God, go I ...
anyone of us could have easily have had someone else's life, if the conditions had been there ...
my baggage is a part of me,
it has moulded and shaped me to who I am.
It used to control me,
I held myself accountable to it,
foolish soul that I was ...
I realize now,
that sometimes things just happen
through no fault of one's own,
and that sometimes, you need to acknowledge those things and then just file them away,
for if you continue to carry them around with you,
they will just weigh you down.
Soon, you have all of these weights attached to you and although your heart wants to soar,
you are so willing to touch the sky,
you can't ...
baggage ...
if only we could get one of those miracle bags and stuff it all inside, create the vacuum inside and decompress it all, to the size of a flat envelope that could be filed away ....
never to be forgotten,
just simply filed away ...
if ........
I think that when you go through life,
what you experience before, shapes you to who you become ...
some of us go through life with no real turmoil or stress ...
and we have an okay life, nothing really dramatic, nothing really outstanding but an okay life ...
others of us, the baggage may start to accumulate shortly after birth,
Life is kind of like a crap shoot ...
I kind of think along the lines of
but there, for an act of God, go I ...
anyone of us could have easily have had someone else's life, if the conditions had been there ...
my baggage is a part of me,
it has moulded and shaped me to who I am.
It used to control me,
I held myself accountable to it,
foolish soul that I was ...
I realize now,
that sometimes things just happen
through no fault of one's own,
and that sometimes, you need to acknowledge those things and then just file them away,
for if you continue to carry them around with you,
they will just weigh you down.
Soon, you have all of these weights attached to you and although your heart wants to soar,
you are so willing to touch the sky,
you can't ...
baggage ...
if only we could get one of those miracle bags and stuff it all inside, create the vacuum inside and decompress it all, to the size of a flat envelope that could be filed away ....
never to be forgotten,
just simply filed away ...
if ........
mother nature calling ...
Do you ever just feel happy
and wish that everyone could just be happy ...
it is not even that you have a particular reason to be that way ...
you just are.
the snow is almost all melted from my driveway now
we won't talk about the pile still on my lawn ...
but the tulips are coming,
the crocus are bright green little spears
I had to drive west today down the 401
I saw an owl about 0820 this morning
and on the way back home
we saw at least 3 hawks ...
amazing ...
simply amazing ...
and wish that everyone could just be happy ...
it is not even that you have a particular reason to be that way ...
you just are.
the snow is almost all melted from my driveway now
we won't talk about the pile still on my lawn ...
but the tulips are coming,
the crocus are bright green little spears
I had to drive west today down the 401
I saw an owl about 0820 this morning
and on the way back home
we saw at least 3 hawks ...
amazing ...
simply amazing ...
revelations come in the strangest of places ...
I had a revelation today ...
I have long known that I am a story teller ...
I love to tell people's stories
perhaps part of it is the field that I work in and the belief that people need to have a voice and to be heard,
no matter what their ability ...
I have been told that I am very good at it ...
I prefer to think that I am just the teller of the story,
that it is the story that makes it great ...
the life of the person
capsulized in time
so that all might know and share ...
I am attracted to other story tellers ...
my first great love was one,
my ex hubby was one ...
I chose lovers past and present that are ...
and I thought back to my marriage
and realized
that perhaps it was when the stories stopped
that my marriage in a way stopped ...
and that made me feel very sad ...
for I for one
would never want to take away anyone's story ...
it also made me realize that one of the main reasons that I continue to blog in this wonderous blogland of ours ...
is because of my connections and attractions to the other story tellers here ...
just wanted you all to bask in the love ...
take care,
I have long known that I am a story teller ...
I love to tell people's stories
perhaps part of it is the field that I work in and the belief that people need to have a voice and to be heard,
no matter what their ability ...
I have been told that I am very good at it ...
I prefer to think that I am just the teller of the story,
that it is the story that makes it great ...
the life of the person
capsulized in time
so that all might know and share ...
I am attracted to other story tellers ...
my first great love was one,
my ex hubby was one ...
I chose lovers past and present that are ...
and I thought back to my marriage
and realized
that perhaps it was when the stories stopped
that my marriage in a way stopped ...
and that made me feel very sad ...
for I for one
would never want to take away anyone's story ...
it also made me realize that one of the main reasons that I continue to blog in this wonderous blogland of ours ...
is because of my connections and attractions to the other story tellers here ...
just wanted you all to bask in the love ...
take care,
Autism ...
Autism covers a broad spectrum of abilities ...
often eye contact is almost nil, and it is like they are not totally aware of anyone else but themselves ...
I went to a workshop this week on how to deal with difficult people ...
the impact on me, I must say, was really life changing ... not just for myself, the men that I assist with their lives, but for the staff that are on my team, other co-workers in our agency, families, and even my own circle of family and friends ...
I came back refreshed and with new thoughts and determined to try some new things in on going dealings with self stim, OCD, and repetitive questioning ...
often when someone is unsure of the response that they will get in life, unsure of the commitment of the people in their lives, scared to trust their own instincts, or just plain lonely they will act out and do what they know that they should not do ... just because they know that they can do that ...
It is easier to screw up and know that you are a screw up than to take that risk, to take a chance and maybe, just maybe it will all work out ok ...
What I discovered, is that if you offer the risk, let them know that they will still be safe, and that it is ok to want to take that risk, than their chances of being successful soar in actual numbers ...
People, just want to be heard ...
they want to be listened to,
someone to tell their story to ...
for we all have stories ...
some of them are not very nice
but the thing is,
that if you tell your story
you let go of some of it ... if it is a bad one,
and it grows if it is a good one, for the listener relishes in the story with you ... celebrating your success ...
a person can be in a room with a hundred other people and be so very lonely, and yet one person listening to their story can make a world of difference ...
my request of you, is to just take a moment ...
when having a conversation with someone today
listen to what they are saying, not just with their words but with their body, their soul ...
let them know that you hear what they are saying ...
open your heart,
open your mind ...
often eye contact is almost nil, and it is like they are not totally aware of anyone else but themselves ...
I went to a workshop this week on how to deal with difficult people ...
the impact on me, I must say, was really life changing ... not just for myself, the men that I assist with their lives, but for the staff that are on my team, other co-workers in our agency, families, and even my own circle of family and friends ...
I came back refreshed and with new thoughts and determined to try some new things in on going dealings with self stim, OCD, and repetitive questioning ...
often when someone is unsure of the response that they will get in life, unsure of the commitment of the people in their lives, scared to trust their own instincts, or just plain lonely they will act out and do what they know that they should not do ... just because they know that they can do that ...
It is easier to screw up and know that you are a screw up than to take that risk, to take a chance and maybe, just maybe it will all work out ok ...
What I discovered, is that if you offer the risk, let them know that they will still be safe, and that it is ok to want to take that risk, than their chances of being successful soar in actual numbers ...
People, just want to be heard ...
they want to be listened to,
someone to tell their story to ...
for we all have stories ...
some of them are not very nice
but the thing is,
that if you tell your story
you let go of some of it ... if it is a bad one,
and it grows if it is a good one, for the listener relishes in the story with you ... celebrating your success ...
a person can be in a room with a hundred other people and be so very lonely, and yet one person listening to their story can make a world of difference ...
my request of you, is to just take a moment ...
when having a conversation with someone today
listen to what they are saying, not just with their words but with their body, their soul ...
let them know that you hear what they are saying ...
open your heart,
open your mind ...
Joy
What brings you joy?
I had someone give me a gift of joy a couple of weeks ago ...
a hand blown glass orb with what looks like trees growing inside ...
a beautiful piece of blues and greens with a yellow tinge ...
the artist in me appreciates the blending of the colours ... the melding of the different techniques ...
the lover in me admires the sensuality of the shape and form...
the woman in me appreciates the love symbolized by the gift from a very dear friend ...
and it is funny,
because friendship does bring joy to my life ...
knowing that there are people who are very caring, loving, supportive
that will watch me take my risks in life
applaud my victories
and be there to help me back up, offering hugs and support, when I get knocked down ...
people bring me joy ...
friends bring me joy ...
living life brings me joy
hope that you have some joy in your life today and everyday ...
I had someone give me a gift of joy a couple of weeks ago ...
a hand blown glass orb with what looks like trees growing inside ...
a beautiful piece of blues and greens with a yellow tinge ...
the artist in me appreciates the blending of the colours ... the melding of the different techniques ...
the lover in me admires the sensuality of the shape and form...
the woman in me appreciates the love symbolized by the gift from a very dear friend ...
and it is funny,
because friendship does bring joy to my life ...
knowing that there are people who are very caring, loving, supportive
that will watch me take my risks in life
applaud my victories
and be there to help me back up, offering hugs and support, when I get knocked down ...
people bring me joy ...
friends bring me joy ...
living life brings me joy
hope that you have some joy in your life today and everyday ...
the big give ...
I am a huge fan of Oprah's show the big give ...
I am glad that people are becoming aware of the joy you can get from giving to other people ...
this is not a new feeling for me,
as I would like to think that it is my lifestyle ...
I believe in people ...
I believe that people can make all the difference in the world for other people ...
that sometimes it is just a touch,
a thought,
a smile ...
an eye connection ...
just letting someone know that they are being heard and or seen ...
the simple words ...
the simple connection ...
I think often we go through life
doing things that we are not even aware of that impact other people ...
perhaps the time has come to open our own awareness and to deliberately seek out others ...
the time for a kinder, gentler world
where one smiles at a stranger ...
offers a hug to a friend,
food to someone that needs it ...
it does not need to take a lot of money or time,
but it does involve giving of yourself
even a little bit ....
the two second eye contact ...
throw in a smile for free
the kind that lights up your face ...
check out the one you will get in return ...
of course they might think that you are some weirdo strung out on something BUT
then again they might just think
WOW, that person smiled at me ... how awesome ...
so my friends,
go
get out there
give of yourself .......
feel the joy !!!
I am glad that people are becoming aware of the joy you can get from giving to other people ...
this is not a new feeling for me,
as I would like to think that it is my lifestyle ...
I believe in people ...
I believe that people can make all the difference in the world for other people ...
that sometimes it is just a touch,
a thought,
a smile ...
an eye connection ...
just letting someone know that they are being heard and or seen ...
the simple words ...
the simple connection ...
I think often we go through life
doing things that we are not even aware of that impact other people ...
perhaps the time has come to open our own awareness and to deliberately seek out others ...
the time for a kinder, gentler world
where one smiles at a stranger ...
offers a hug to a friend,
food to someone that needs it ...
it does not need to take a lot of money or time,
but it does involve giving of yourself
even a little bit ....
the two second eye contact ...
throw in a smile for free
the kind that lights up your face ...
check out the one you will get in return ...
of course they might think that you are some weirdo strung out on something BUT
then again they might just think
WOW, that person smiled at me ... how awesome ...
so my friends,
go
get out there
give of yourself .......
feel the joy !!!
Have you ever ...
been somewhere,
seen something
and bought it ...
just for the hell of it ...
just because you know someone that it will be just perfect for ...
the cost is not an object ...
it is the object itself that you know will be just perfect ...
even better when you know
that you can add a few things to it
to make it even better ...
sighhhhhhhhhhhhh
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I bought one of those things yesterday
and can hardly wait to give it ...
the smiles will be well worth it ...
giggle, I can hardly wait ...
seen something
and bought it ...
just for the hell of it ...
just because you know someone that it will be just perfect for ...
the cost is not an object ...
it is the object itself that you know will be just perfect ...
even better when you know
that you can add a few things to it
to make it even better ...
sighhhhhhhhhhhhh
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I bought one of those things yesterday
and can hardly wait to give it ...
the smiles will be well worth it ...
giggle, I can hardly wait ...
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